Summer Len Davis

Essays from the Dirty Floor

He Doesn’t Like You Because You’re Fat – 3 Reasons You’re Still Single

Do you honestly think that’s true?

Do you really think it’s true that you can’t land a man because you’re overweight? Or maybe because you’ve got a double chin? No, no, no, I’ve got it. It’s because you’ve got a belly pooch. Or better yet, because Sir Mix A Lot wrote a song about your big butt, right? Wait, no. It’s because your knees look like elephant seals and you can’t walk three blocks without starting a bush fire between your legs. Yes, that’s got to be it.

Think it's your fat that's keeping you single?

Get REAL. 

Girl, finding a man doesn’t have anything to do with the size of your pants, your waist, or your knees. I know, this is real groundbreaking stuff. But seriously, that has nothing to do with it.

Sure, some men have a certain “type” of woman that they like. Guess what? I have a certain type of guy I like. I’m insanely attracted to super tall guys. Over 6’2″? You’re hot. Period. It’s like my only physical requirement. Does that mean I don’t find shorter guys attractive? Certainly not. I’ve even dated some short guys in the past. It’s just that height gets me going. It’s not wrong to have a type, it’s just a fact of life.

So your real or perceived fat rolls are not the reason you’re still single. 

And if you just want to be single, more power to you. This is specifically for the women out there who would like to be consciously coupled with the man of their dreams.

Here are a few reasons why you’re having trouble landing a man.

HINT: Not a single one of them has to do with the number on the tag in your britches or the reading on a scale, which means this list is for women of all sizes.

1. Your Attitude Sucks

There’s not a man on the planet that wants to be with a woman who is so insecure with herself that she has completely turned on the world. That mouth-puckered, raised eyebrow look on your face tells me you’ve got a bone to pick with yourself. Soften up, girl! Stop being so thorny, because that briar patch you’ve built around yourself? That weighs way more than any spare tire you might be carrying around your midsection.

Now, this attitude probably comes from lots of hurt, but you’ve got to play like Elsa and let it go. The world isn’t against you. The world doesn’t hate you because you’re fat, or thin, or anywhere in between. The world hates you because you’re projecting hate. What you project is returned to you. Stop it with the victim mentality, start being nice, put a genuine smile on your face, and take ten seconds to breathe and reflect before you open your mouth, OK?

A good attitude attracts a good man.

2. You’re Projecting Defeat

What’s the most attractive thing to someone of the opposite sex? Confidence. Period. Someone’s outward appearance is directly related to what they project. What’s inside is out. When you stand around with your shoulders slumped over and a sad look on your face, you look defeated.

Why would someone want to start a relationship with another person who is already projecting failure? They wouldn’t. That’s like starting a business knowing it’s going to fail. People don’t do that. You start something because you hope to see it through to the end – positively.

This is a super quick fix. First, pull your shoulders up and back, stand (and walk) with your head held high, and put a smile on that mug! Did you know that faking a smile can actually change your mood? Crazy, right? I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “Fake it ’til you make it”, right? Well, do it. Fake it until you don’t look or feel defeated. Start each day with purpose and positivism and you will begin projecting that.

3. You Don’t Love Yourself

Girl, you need to learn to love yourself. You will never be happy with yourself or anyone else until you love you. I am fully aware that there is nobody on Earth more difficult to love than yourself, but you need to hear this. You need to love you. It helps when you know what you have to offer the world, to the people in your life, and to a potential life mate. If you need help learning to love yourself, you need to check out the 15 things all women need to hear. If you’re reading this, you obviously need the reminder.

I’m sorry, I can’t make you love yourself. Only you can do that. Unbelieveable, right?

So you’re still on the hunt for a man? Do yourself a favor. Check the attitude at your bedside table each morning, put a smile on your face and use good posture, and love thyself. It’s when you can be happy, content, and excited to be single that a man will fall into your arms. But first, learn to love and be content with yourself, just you.

Bonus tip: Stop looking for a man everywhere you go. Having trouble finding a man and making every man you meet run the opposite direction because of your ‘tude are two very different things. But please, for goodness sake, don’t look for this new man every chance you get. You’re wasting your life and missing out on some beautiful moments because you’re constantly on the hunt. Allow yourself to be hunted. A woman in love with life is an attractive woman, indeed.

Reader Interactions

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