Meet Dorothy Rister, daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother. Lover of the jitterbug, master seamstress, was once a world class stay at home mom to 4 children, fantastic friend, coffee fiend, and high school cheerleader. Her brother and close family members growing up called her “Butch”. Her husband calls her “Mama”.
I call her “Grandma”.
At one time in her life, my grandma loved to dance. She taught me to jitterbug when I was very small. I still remember holding her hands and learning to move my feet to the rhythm of the old fashioned music.
An amazing cook, she held most of her recipes in that cottony head of hears. Her peach cobbler will never be touched. She taught me to cook and bequeathed to me a love of baking. Gingerbread cookies, 7-Up cake, red velvet cake, biscuits, chicken & dumplings, cornbread, dump cake, coconut cake; these are among my favorites.
4 Generations – Christmas 2010, The last Christmas where my Grandma knew who I was to her.
My grandma had a hard life growing up. Her daddy died when she was a young girl. She told me stories about how someone told her that he had been calling for her when he died underneath the train. She was poor growing up, and had little self-confidence. Her step fathers abused her. Her mom, my great grandma, died in a car accident when my grandma was in her early 20s. Despite all of that, I’ve never met a person more satisfied with her life. She was always happy and joking. She was the best imaginarian in the ENTIRE world. We played “Tent” in her bed where we would go on adventures into the mountains hiking, fishing, and meeting bears. She would pull food out of the pantry, put prices on it, and play “Store” with me. I always got to go shopping and she rang my purchases up, helping me count my money. Her outlook on life was sunny.
In 1994, Grandma lost her second born son, Maxwell Carlton Rister, at the hands of some greedy teenagers in Dublin, Georgia. They shot him in a hotel courtyard to get the $7 that he had in his wallet. He survived after the shooting, but died, bloody in my grandma’s arms exactly 4 months later, a result of the gunshot wounds.
In 1998 she lost her first born son, Noel Travis Rister to lung cancer.
In 2005 she lost her last born son, Quinten Darrel Rister to what started as malignant melanoma but ended as a body so riddled with cancer that it should have been his middle name.
My mom, Emilee Elizabeth Rister is her only living child.
I don’t know how she put any of her children in the ground, but I do know that it sent her plummeting into depression which turned into dementia. She now has what the doctors are calling full-blown Alzheimer’s Disease. My Pop couldn’t take care of her anymore so last year, he made the decision that I had been pushing for, for about 2 years, to put Grandma into an Alzheimer’s Disease Assisted Living Facility. I knew that people there would take much better care of her than he could.
Taken in 2008, the beginning of her mental decline.
Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s Disease is extremely difficult. They have an aversion to bathing, they don’t eat much or they eat things that they shouldn’t eat, they can wander off any time of day, they lose control of their faculties, they become violent when they don’t understand what’s going on, and a whole slew of other problems. Pop just could not, and should not have had to, take care of that by himself. So he put her in Emeritus Assisted Living Facility in Ocoee, Florida early this year.
I’ve been to the facility a few times and it is beautiful. The people there seemed very nice. The Alzheimer’s ward is so sad to visit. Most of the people there can’t talk well, or they can’t carry on a conversation. Many of them have to be fed because they cannot do it themselves. I visited once when an Elvis impersonator was there singing for them. It was the most incredible thing to see these women singing entire songs on his microphone who were completely incapable of telling you that they were hungry, needed to use the restroom, or recall your name. I cried like crazy, and I’m about as emotional as a rock most of the time.
Since going into the Assisted Living Facility, Grandma’s mental status has declined rapidly, but I believe she is just in that stage of the disease.
After living there for several weeks, The Department of Children & Families (DCF) had to be called in because of an aggressive patient who was pushing, shoving, and screaming at some of the other residents. Grandma was one of her victims and it left bruises on her arms. The staff did not call DCF, my mom did. Per regulations, DCF is to be called any time there is an “incident”. That didn’t happen. The staff finally made changes regarding this incident after DCF was called in.
In May, Grandma had her first bad fall. Supposedly, nobody saw what happened. The assumption was that she had fallen in the hallway and hit her face on the chair rail. Again, that was just speculation, nobody saw what happened. That fall resulted in a broken nose. You can see that photo here:
May, 2012. Fall #1
Since then, my mom has received phone calls about 2-3 falls per month. I am aware that with this disease, falling becomes normal at some point, but we entrusted people to decide when she needed to be confined to a wheelchair, or given a walker, and that trust has been broken. I also know that with Alzheimer’s Disease, it is difficult to get patients to remember to use their new walking aids, but that is yet another reason that we put her in a facility: So that someone was around to make sure that she was safe.
The purpose of putting someone into a facility is to have the assurance that they are being taken care of.
On December 12, 2012, my mom received a call stating that Grandma had a black eye. Nobody knew how it happened. The facility workers that leave at 10pm said that she was sleeping when they left, and that she was perfectly fine, so it happened between 10pm and 6am. During that time, her bedding had also been changed. At Emeritus, they change bedding once a week and any time bedding is changed outside of the normal time frame, it is to be recorded as to why the bedding was changed i.e.: the resident soiled their linens. There was nothing on record as to why Grandma’s bedding had been changed, and nobody would admit to changing them.
As yet, nobody has admitted to seeing or knowing what happened to make my sweet Grandma look like this:
She has Alzheimer’s Disease. She doesn’t remember what happened. All she knows is that it hurts, and she doesn’t know why.
Someone is lying. Someone changed her sheets that night. For what reason, we don’t know. I’ve drawn my own conclusions about the reason why the sheets were changed and why she has a black eye, but nobody had the fortitude to take her to the gynecologist. Instead, she was given a shower and scrubbed clean.
Once again, DCF was not called in. IMMEDIATELY upon this happening, DCF should have been notified, but they, once again, were not notified. My mom took the liberties of calling DCF, and when the social worker arrived, my sister was at Emeritus visiting Grandma. The social worker told her that she had just gotten off of the phone with Emeritus as she was pulling into the driveway. Why did they wait so long to call? Someone is trying to cover something up for someone. Who are they trying to protect?
Not my Grandma.
I don’t know if a resident did this to her, or a worker. But someone gave my sweet grandma a black eye.
My Pop pays $4000 every month for someone to neglect and/or abuse this sweet, completely defenseless woman.
This is completely unacceptable.
December 12, 2012
Because you are caring for Alzheimer’s Patients, does NOT mean that you get to take advantage of their lack of memory. As a matter of fact, you are tasked with making sure that they don’t hurt themselves or other people, that they have good hygiene, that they eat well, that they are entertained, and that they are safe, because that is what caring for someone with Alzheimer’s entails.
There should be closed-circuit cameras with recordings kept in EVERY Alzheimer’s ward in EVERY facility across the nation. These people cannot speak for themselves, so who will?
We will never know what happened to my Grandma and that breaks my heart. But I believe that if this is shared around enough, we CAN, as a strong, unified voice, make sure that people with mental disorders, or dementia are given the care and respect that they deserve.
Nursing home abuse and neglect has to stop. I’m taking a stand. Will you stand with me?
PLEASE, I am begging you, PLEASE share this with everyone you know. This could be your grandparent, this could be your parent, this could be you down the road. Things HAVE to change.
This same thing happened to my grandmother who died of the horrible disease Alzheimers! We had to move her to another nursing home..when we did guess what?? SHE NEVER “FELL” AGAIN! It is so so sad to me. I am so sorry you had to deal with this. 🙁
Thank-you Joy. I’m SO, SO sorry that you guys had to deal with the same thing. We are looking into other facilities right now, but as you know, making a move can’t happen overnight. It’s so sad and I wish I was closer so I could DO something.
Well I hope you’ve gotten your Grandmother out of there or plan to do so. I have been caring for my Mom for 33years. She is 94 and has had Dementhia for the last 10 years. It;’s obvious you won’t get any straight answers from them so I would just get her out of there and find another home. Otherwise she could be killed. It is so sad that our elders are hurt like that.
My other half works for a nursing home chain and I hear all the time about how the nurses have to document EVERYTHING. You’re right that something’s wrong here and I’d be happy to drive down there with you to beat up the SOB who would do such a thing.
This facility documents NOTHING. Or almost nothing. I am disgusted and thankful I live so far away because I’m relatively certain I’d be down there embarrassing myself if I lived closer.
Summer thank you for supporting your grandma. She lives you. This article will make a difference if we all share it. I’m Proud of you Summer and I know grandma is too
This is completely unacceptable! I think there should be an investigation done into this facility. It’s time to stand up for the generation that cannot stand up for themselves any longer. I’m so sorry that this is happening to your grandmother, and I hope that they find out who/what/why in this situation, and nip it in the bud.
Thank you, Melody! I agree that an investigation needs to be done. Never should someone endure what my grandma has endured in the hands of the very people we are supposed to trust.
It is so sad that things like this happen. How horrible that people who are trusted to do good take advantage of their position and do evil instead. It breaks my heart. On the other hand I know that there are wonderful facilities out there that value the people living in them. I hope that your family is able to find your grandmother a safe place to live or at least are able to fight for changes to be made where she is currently.
OH MY WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Poor grandma. I am going to share this and hope she gets some justice.
trisha
Thank you SO much, Trisha!
May i suggest you get a monitor for her that you can see her room and it has access to your cell phone. They have them for babies so I am sure they have them for something like this.
Trisha, that is exactly what I told my mom. I’m not down there to place it but I’m going to look into them tonight when we get home and see what is available. I’m so disgusted. I really wish I was closer.
Summer,
I’m Mary Sue’s daughter. The first picture that your mom posted, I shared on Facebook with a little background. I’m going to share this too. I’m ashamed to say that sexual assault never crossed my mind until I read this. I was so focused on her face….now I’m just sick all over again. I am SO sorry your grandma was harmed. I know how much I love and miss mine and if anyone had ever put a finger on her I would have been a dangerous girl! There is no excuse…you did a wonderful job of telling her story.
Hi Kim! I remember meeting you a few times. Thank you for sharing this. Please share as often as you can to get the word out. We are so disgusted by all of this. I don’t know if it was a resident or a worker, but it is inexcusable either way. She isn’t being protected. Period. Bottom line. End of story.
Summer,
I am at a complete loss for words. I am thinking about my grandparents, who are close to your grandma’s age. If something like this happened to them, I would go absolutely batshit crazy. I am just so livid that this stuff happens & I don’t understand it! If she is getting hurt all the time, they aren’t watching her or someone is doing this on purpose. What is DCF doing about this? Just showing to document the falls/hurts/bruises & then walking away???
Thank you, Tara. I lost both of my dad’s parents in the last year and a half, but they both went fairly quickly. My Mamom died in her sleep of a massive stroke, and my Papa died of sepsis after a couple of months in the hospital, where he was taken very good care of. It hurts me that I lost them, but it hurts just as much that my living grandparent is being neglected and abused so badly. Thank you for sharing for me, I greatly appreciate it.
Summer…I am so sorry that your Grandma and your family are going through this. My Grandma Ryan had dementia and was in a home. Except for the occasional break-out which should have never happened, we didn’t have to encounter anything such as this. Broken noses, black eyes etc should have some type of answers. Whether she fell out of bed, or in the hall- someone should have seen or noted and called! As far as the changing of the sheets? I am totally disgusted to even think that could have happened. Something happened and your family should have some answers!
I will be sharing this. My Grandma passed away almost 2 years ago on the 24th of December-so my heart is with you as if this was my Grandma I would be livid. <3 to you and I will be sharing this.
Becky, I’m sorry for your loss, even if it was a couple of years ago. I’m sure this time of year is difficult for you now. Her black eye, the random sheet change, none of it makes sense, especially since nobody can account for ANY of it. The only one thing I DO know, is that she didn’t do this herself. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m hoping the word gets out on this.
I think someone should copy this article and mailed it “certified” to this care facility!
Thanks for the idea, Patty!
Thank you for the idea, Patty!
Summer, I’m so sorry this is happening to your grandmother. I work in a Nursing Home (not Assisted Living) and in my opinion no Alzheimer patient should be in assisted living. There are different state mandated rules in place in a Nursing Home that protect (it should be in assisted living but in your state it isn’t) We have 24 hour cameras EVERYWHERE in our building (except for rooms) but we would be able to tell who went into a room at any time. EVERYTHING is documented from the intake of food, to output (bathroom) to if a resident mentioned something to a nurse or aide. If a patient (or there family insisted on yogurt at every meal tray, it is documented and a paper trail is left for the initial conversation. These rules are in place to protect the patient. If someone is suspected in anything, they are immediately taken off the floor and investigated. We have very little grievances in our facility and are an older facility. Looks can be deceiving! Te prettiest building are not always better. I hope your grandmother ‘s injustice is resolved and the state do what is necessary to the family. We love our residents in our facility. We cry when they pass on and attend services. I have wept with family members for someone’s passing because they are MY family.
P.S Bedding should be changed every other day (once a week is unacceptable) The nursing assistant overnight should have been investigated! Those investigations should be available to the family. Nothing sounds right in your grandmother’s case. If she falls and hit her head (i.e face as in the picture) should should have went to the E.R. Depending on meds she could have blot clotting or neuro damage. A CT should have been done at the E.R. Med may need to be changed if someone has reoccuring falls. Neuro consult should be issued. Please ask about this!
I just saw the errors in my post. I was on a cell phone.l I hope everything gets resolved and the facility (not family) has necessary action taken upon them.
Maria, I’m having absolute deja vu. SO weird. Thank you SO much for all of this information. I’m disgusted at how she is being taken care of. This facility obviously cares more about appearances than providing good care for its patients. There is one gentleman who is a resident there who likes to rub on the women there. When they ask him to stop, he becomes very agitated. It just makes me want to cry to think that he may have done this to her. I wish we had answers but NOBODY is coming forward about ANYTHING. It blows my mind that there aren’t cameras on all the time that they could look at. Just BLOWS MY MIND.
Thank you again for all of your comments. They are SO helpful.
We had a gentleman in the past that was inappropriate towards women, nothing was done on his part, but the desire was there. They see our in-house psychologist first. Patients like that go to geri-phyc which is what happened. Patients have rights and should be safe. Families trust “us” to care for their family. They are the most precious thing to them. My mother has Early on-set dementia at 56 years old so I understand the pain your family has just having someone they love with Alzheimer’s. I’m truly sad for your family. Saying prayers for your grandma & family! .
Summer, my dad had worked at a senior home for over 20 years and what you’re describing is completely illegal and they should be losing their state funding due to negligence and malpractice.
I am so sorry that you’re dealing with this! Your poor grandma. I don’t know if your family has thought of this yet, but you should be contacting your local news station to have them do a report on it – the refusing to follow state law and call DCF and not terminating the orderly in charge of her room during the time her sheets were changed against the rules with no record…
And you should be contacting a lawyer.
Hugs mama! I hope you’re able to get her out of this horrible place ASAP!
My heart is breaking for your grandmother. I am praying so hard for your grandmother to find a place where she can feel safe and secure. She has that basic right. I’m sending you and your family love and hugs.
So sorry that your sweet grandma is going through this. While I have no experience when it comes to these types of facilities. What happened just doesn’t sound right and at the very least, there should be some sort of investigation made. I hope you and your family can get her out of that horrible place.
Summer –
I’m VERY proud of you and you did an outstanding job of telling Mom’s story. There are no words to adequately “describe” the amazing woman Mom is……..Yes, she still IS. She is buried beneath the cloudy disguise of disease, but rest assured MOM will rise again, strong and beautiful and sharing that incredible smile as she steps over to be with her boys. There is much of her in YOU and that is the greatest compliment I could ever give. Thank you for getting her story out to the world. YES, I will stand with you to make a difference.
This just makes me cry so much. My grandmother had several strokes and could not speak any more. I am convinced something very wrong was happening to her in the home. Every time my grandmother and I would leave she would grab our hand so hard and cry for us to stay. As a child it scared me. Now it scares me for entirely different reasons. I’m absolutely dreading my parents’ elder care.
It is frightening to think about. I can’t stop thinking about how she felt in the moment. Did she wonder why someone was punching her? Was she crying? Was she screaming? I can’t imagine her going out quietly in the night, which just makes this so much more disturbing for me.
What scares me even more is that this could be you or me in a few decades. I wouldn’t want someone to treat me that way, so why on earth would I let it happen to my grandmother?
I can so relate to this. My grandmother was in a nursing home and they way they treated her was horrid. Almost as if she was a young child. It really disturbed me. Ultimately she had to be there but I hated seeing her there till her death:(
I am so sorry for all your family has gone through. I hope you have contacted an attorney regarding this matter. Unfortunately when I worked as a paralegal for a trial lawyer I saw many nursing home abuse cases come across our desks. It is horrible. That said, often the employees of these facilities are paid minimum wage, have minor criminal records, and have little medical training. After seeing all I have seen and know about nursing home abuse- I would never put my loved one inside of one.
I am so incredibly sorry your grandmother is going through this. It is heartbreaking, horrible and just down right awful. I really do not know what to say other than I am so sorry, I am sharing this, and if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know! I hope something happens soon and action is taken. This is just unacceptable on so many levels. Hugs to you!
This is insane and unacceptable. Something has to be done. Your poor, sweet grandma. I know that there is a nursing home in my area that doesn’t change the linens or the residents as they should. There is severe hygiene neglect. That is bad enough. I could never imagine seeing the physical abuse that is happening to your grandma. I hope there is resolution for your family and the future families that put their loved ones there or somewhere similar!
That is awful and completely unacceptable. My husband delivers medicine to nursing homes and one of the ones he delivers to was just closed because of abuse and the 2 women were arrested. The family hid a camera in the room and caught it all on tape, thankfully.
OMG,,,,PLEASE LORD PROTECT THE EDERLY WHO CAN NOT CARE FOR THEMSELVES. PUT YOURS ARM AROUND THEM AS THEY LIVE DAY BY DAY!!!
MY MOM IS ALSO IN THE SAME CONDITION. ALZHEIMER IS A TERRIBLE DESEISE…….I LOVE YOU MOM!!!
PLEASE LETS ALL STICK TOGETHER!!!
The first picture of your Grandma is the way I remember her. I am an old H.S. friend of your Mom’s. When I first heard of this, it reminded me of my 93 yr. old Mom being mistreated at Island Lake in Longwood. Not to this extent thank goodness, but her needs were obviously were not being met and the rudeness of the Staff towards the residents was unbelievable! In any event, I pray that you get some type of justice for this dear woman! I sent your Mom a link to the AHCA here in Florida where you can file a complaint on line. Our hearts and minds are in the right place when we have to make the decision if our parents need more help and assistance than we can provide. We place trust in facilities and/or home care agencies that our elderly parents will be safe. Unfortunately, after what I went through, other friends have gone through, and now what you’re going through it is not the case. We seek justice for Dot, and other elderly/disabled people who cannot stand up for themselves.
This is so sad 🙁 Some people are just horrible. Even if another patient gave her the black eye, a care giver changed her bed, either they know what happened or they did it. That place needs to check their staff better. I have worked in 2 Alzheimer units. Never once has anything like this ever happened 🙁
i hope you find a better home soon!
This is sad and infuriating at the same time. I would absolutely look into getting some sort of cameras set up in her room. They have “spy” equipment – gosh I saw a video recording INK PEN the other day for sale. (kinda scary) Please let us know if there is anything we can do. If we need to launch a full blown social media attack I am happy to help. Speaking of, has anyone talked to any of the other residents families? Or the local news? I bet she is not the only victim. Awful. There is a special place in hell for people who hurt the innocent.
I looked at some spy equipment last night. My mom gets home this weekend and we’re going to have her place some in the room. My goal is to DEFINITELY launch a full-blown social media attack. I have a tweet out to WESH2 news, one of the local news channels. If you could send one or a hundred to them too, that would be AMAZING. I also sent an email to Emeritus’ corporate office with a link to this article. I’m hoping more people will do the same. Here’s the link to their contact form: http://www.emeritus.com/contact-us
My blog is still relatively small, so I really would love the help that anyone could give me to get the word out and to get a change. This is completely unacceptable, for ANYONE. I can’t look at this article without crying so there have been lots of tears the past few days as I drafted then published it.
How is your grandfather handling this? He must be so distraught that his love is being treated like this.
I remember my husband’s aunt saying that no one should put a parent in a nursing home. Now I realize why she said that.
He isn’t handling it very well, to the point that he’s frozen on what to do. Sometimes it’s easier for them to just try to chalk it up to…life? I don’t know. I disagree with the fact that no parent should go into a nursing home. Sometimes there is NO other option. My grandma was caught eating super glue on top of cookies, playing with a butcher knife talking about killing herself, drinking Olde English, she was using dish detergent in laundry, and nothing in the dishwasher, or bleach in the dishwasher. I could go on and on about the very dangerous things that she did. All of her sons are dead and my mom is a long-haul truck driver who isn’t home often. Unfortunately she still has to make money for herself to live on, and in-home care is brutally expensive, in addition to the stat-of-the-art security system that they would have to have installed in every room in the house.
I believe sometimes people are lazy and make the decision to place their loved one in an home, and sometimes there really is no “safer” option. Obviously this isn’t a safer option if she is being abused, but we are working on getting her moved and we have contacted an attorney. What scares me most, is that this could be me in a few decades. And I hope that my family is able to be on top of things on my behalf.
First, I am horrified at the treatment of your grandmother and so, so, sorry for her and your family.
Second, I used to work in Risk Management for a company here in Texas that owns/operates many ASL and Nursing facilities. I wanted to pass on to you (if you aren’t already aware) this website…http://apps.ahca.myflorida.com/dm_web/%28S%28ktwfmqu2wtizrahdm4sfjaxe%29%29/Default.aspx#Statement_of_Deficiencies
You can search by several different criteria and find any reports on any facility. The reports themselves will show you what the deficiency was for and if it was corrected and when it was corrected. I realize this doesn’t solve anything and it doesn’t help what’s already been done, but it might help you in choosing a new facility for your grandma.
I have been in situations where things happened that I refuse to talk about, so seeing this post just makes me sick. I don’t think these individuals realize these aren’t just nobodies. These are people’s grandparents, fathers, mothers, siblings. These people have loved ones. I’m praying for your family and I hope she can heal both physically and emotionally. This may sound harsh, but there is a special hell for people that do things like this. That allow it to happen. That are too afraid to cause trouble so they keep their mouths shut when they should come forward. Stay strong! We’re rooting and praying for you.
Please please please, do what you can to get your grandmother moved OUT of this place, IMMEDIATELY. File all the reports with DCF as you’re walking out the door. Make no excuses and do NOT ALLOW her to stay there another minute. Your gut is your best guide and from what I”m reading, its telling you something is wrong. INDEED IT IS. Get her examined by a gyn and have her checked thoroughly for further signs of rape or assault. I’ve been involved for many years now with Alzheimer’s patients (family, friends, neighbors etc) and through my former work as a medical ethicist.
I’m praying for you and your grandparents and entire family. Please feel free to email me if you wish, I’m happy to be a sounding board and help anyway I can.
I”m going off to cry now.
This makes me so angry for your grandmother and your family. I will definitely share and I hope that someone makes this right…well as right as they can. The damage done can’t be fixed but they sure as heck can do something about it.
I would like to say a few things in defense of Emeritus where Dorothy Rister is a resident. My background is that my mother is also a resident there and has been since 2009, having moved from the Assisted Living side to Memory Care in 2010. I live near and am there visiting almost daily. I see a lot. Yes, there are problems there, like in any situation where you are dealing with very unpredictable people. But one of the things, I do not spend a lot of time worrying about there is abuse. Yes, I would like more watchful eyes on my mom at all times, but I also understand that when there are 20 people in various stages of dementia things can happen.
I have seen many of the residents in their sweet loving stages (as is Dorothy much of the time) but I have also seen some, including Dorothy pitching fits (for no apparent reason and before someone says there has to be a reason, I will say that sometimes that reason is hidden deeply in the Alzheimer’s patient’s mind). Dorothy doesn’t hear well, and should wear her hearing aid, but looses it easily, so most of the time she doesn’t have it on and can’t hear when other residents or staff speak to her and she doesn’t understand and sometimes one or the other reacts badly. I have witnessed this.
And like small children, Alzheimer’s patients sometimes show their displeasure by not “playing well with others”.
This is speculation based on previous observations, but perhaps Dorothy was hit during an altercation with another patient. This isn’t right, but it can happen. We have a handful of “Walkers & Talkers” (mostly women) who wander into other people’s rooms and things (most of our current male residents are in wheelchairs). My mother is as unpredictable as any and a fall risk, they try to keep her safe, but as mandated by state law, in Assisted Living Facilities they can not use restraints, so if a resident is mobile, they can not confine them to a wheelchair Having spent some evenings at Emeritus, I know there are nighttime wanderers in Memory Care. The layout there is not ideal, and it would be good to have cameras in the hall to see how occurrences happened, but they do not have the manpower to man the cameras 24/7, and I would rather have the staff working hands on, than watching a tape.
I understand the worries of the family over Dorothy’s injury. I dread the calls that come when my mother has an injury, but for every injury that has occurred with my mother and with other residents, I have seen many near misses which did not occurr because of the watchful eyes and quick response of the staff at Emeritus. There are 20 residents in Memory Care and it sometimes takes more than 2 staff members to take care of one resident, most of the time the 3 staff members are enough, but they can’t be everywhere at all times.
And to address the sheet changing question. Yes, the sheets are changed weekly, but beds also have pads which are changed more frequently and the sheets are also changed as needed, so if they are soiled they are changed. Laundry of some sort is done constantly in Memory Care. Otherwise the resident’s room would constantly smell.
I have read the posts on this blog, and I understand the concerns, but even with 24 hour care, dealing with Alzheimer’s is difficult at best. Visiting for short times over a year does not give you a true picture of the care given to our family members. It is difficult when your loved one can’t tell you how things have happened, but over the past 4 years I have entrusted my mother’s care and well being to the folks at Emeritus and I do not take that trust lightly. If I have a complaint, I voice it and they try to fix it. I know that under the circumstances, I could not give my mother the type of constant care she receives at Emeritus. I hope that a good facility is not having it’s name blackened over very speculative evidence of the causes of injuries that can happen in a split second in a dementia unit. I hope that I have been able to give another view of the care given by Emeritus at Ocoee from someone who spends a lot of time there and know most of the residents in Memory Care.
Ginger, thank you for your comments, however; I think you perhaps didn’t read the entire article, or lost sight of what I was trying to say.
I am absolutely aware of the fact that Alzheimer’s patients are difficult to take care of on many levels, I am also aware of the fact that they can become very violent. Dorothy became violent with Pop numerous times, and the last two times I’ve been to visit her, she has pulled back her fist to punch me. It’s an unfortunate side effect of the disease. I’m most certainly not saying that my grandmother is innocent.
What I AM saying, is that NOBODY IS TALKING. SOMEBODY changed her sheets and NOBODY IS ADMITTING TO IT. If she was found wandering the halls that night, or another resident was found wandering the halls that night, a worker should have seen them eventually at some point, and supposedly NOBODY SAW ANYTHING. THAT is what this article is about. It is about the fact that SOMETHING happened, a couple somethings actually (the sheets being changed and the black eye), yet miraculously, nobody knows a damn thing.
I agree with you that I’d rather have hands-on manpower over someone watching a video 24/7. I’m not calling for cameras to be put in that don’t record. I think that CLOSED-CIRCUIT cameras that record should be placed in every room , not just for the patient’s safety, but to protect the facility too, in the event something happens that nobody can explain.
Also, congratulations on being able to be there every single day. I wish I could be, but I live in North Carolina and the trip down is quite long for daily visits. I doubt my three children would much appreciate my absence so that I could go babysit my grandmother in a facility that is supposed to be taking care of her.
The ONE thing I’m relatively certain of here, is that my grandmother did NOT change her own sheets. But nobody’s talking. Maybe Emeritus has ghosts? SO please, explain THAT to me. Because that is what the article is about. The fact that SOMETHING happened, yet NOBODY can fess up to it.
What Emeritus doesn’t have to worry about is losing there astronomical monthly fee from Dorothy Rister. My grandfather doesn’t have the mental or physical energy to find another place for her, which is unfortunate. I guess sometimes you just reach an age where you don’t care anymore and I think that’s where he’s at. I can’t imagine her leaving him if the tables were turned, but unfortunately my hands are tied.
I’m glad you can rest assured that your mom is in a good place. I wish I felt the same.
Summer – I have read what you have said on this subject on this blog, and I do not fault you for not being able to be here as often as I am, fortunately and sometimes unfortunately as the case may be. What I did want to do is give a different perspective to the care given at Emeritus.
Here is my question – what is the big deal about the sheets? They were changed and washed during the night, perhaps Dorothy soiled them, it happens. Yes, it should be documented, but if something happens down the hall, or someone calls for help, that CNA moves on to the next crisis. The mystery of that night may never be solved. But hopefully lessons will be learned and procedures changed. I would love to see cameras installed in the halls so we could track comings and goings after the fact to be able to piece together a better picture off occurrences. In the rooms could be considered an invasion of privacy by some, but I would be OK with that also. IMO people aren’t talking because they are afraid for their jobs.
I am not trying to fight you about this, just give the up side of a bad situation. I see your Grandmother sitting with your Grandfather, happy as can be. But when he is gone, she is much more confused. The dementia combined with her lack of hearing makes a difficult combination.
I truly think that a resident may have hit her in reaction to a simple confrontation. If she is anything like my Mom, she would have forgotten it almost immediately and gone back to bed, not to be noticed until she was up again and out and about, I am pretty sure that if a staff member were going to hit someone it would not be in the eye. Most of the residents no longer understand right from wrong, but just react. In a perfect world there would always be someone to intervene and redirect.
I don’t want to see a good place vilified over circumstances that are essentially unknown. Yes, I am sure that some of the staff could be better trained, and that there needs to be more checks and balances. Working the night shift in a Memory Care unit is not an easy job placement to fill. We all hate to see our loved ones hurt, but they are active confused people living in a group environment. Alzheimer’s is a horrible disease that takes away the people we love, but it is my hope that they are in their own little world and that they truly don’t realize what their lives are really like.
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Let’s just say… (Starting with basic math)
$4000(mth) X 20(paitients) = $80,000
$80,000(mth) X 12(mths in a year) = $960,000
*** And I am sure patients pay varied amounts & different circumstances affect that… I know my grandfather who was in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s spent over $5000/mth…
For 20 unpredictable, unable, occasionally violent, forgetful, clumsy & confused adults… All the facility normally needs is 3 people??? WOW!! And that takes care of regular routine things (feeding, bathing, cleaning & entertainment) AND the unexpected things (falls, other injuries, soiled sheets…)
Also, if I was paying for my loved one to be in a facility, I would expect that facility be the “expert” that they are being payed for & have a reputation of as little “accidents” as possible. Although, I read numerous “accidents”…. I am not sure how something re-occurring regularly can continue to be called an “accident”… It becomes neglect. Plain and simple in my mind. At some point, the ability to offer an excuse is revoked. In addition, there are procedures that are suppose to be followed in these types of situations. If those procedures are not followed, then the facility is losing their transparency & therefore their trustworthiness. They have cast a very large & ugly shadow of doubt over themselves and really should be accountable for what they choose (& get paid) to be responsible for…
My love to you Summer & prayers to your Grandma. I understand being unable to be with loved ones regularly… So I empathize with your struggle. I still don’t believe that you should have to worry or fear, just because you aren’t able to babysit the people whom are paid to offer a certain level of quality care.
This is horrible! I have worked in a Nursing home as a CNA for several years. I have seen it all, and I have reported things myself. This type of thing needs to end. I am so sorry you have to go through this, I really am.
This is indispicable, I hate what happens in most nursing homes!!!
I understand your Grandfather may not be capable of handling the placement of your Grandmother into a different home…However it may be a good time for him to relinquish Power of Attorney to someone else more capable of seeing to her needs. If your Grandmother dies in this facility you will have no one but yourself and other capable family members to blame. I’m sorry if that sounds cold but sensationalizing this story instead of taking the necessary means to insure your family member’s safety is not only negligent but lazy.
Hi Brandy! I appreciate your comments. Believe me, I would feel SO SO horrible if my grandma died in this facility, believe me. Unfortunately, my grandfather is an extremely stubborn man and is not going to relinquish power of attorney, we have been trying. We are going through other avenues as a family to get Grandma moved but I have been instructed by the family attorney to not write about those things here. The “Sensationlizing” of this story has opened the eyes of people’s families in this facility and some people are making arrangements to move their family members out as soon as a brand new facility opens in that area in about 3 weeks. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with memory care patients, but they just can’t live in a normal home environment without enormous overhauls, which would take weeks to complete. By that time the new facility will be open and the smart people (hopefully our family included) will leave Emeritus in a mass exodus.
I wondered if you reported this abuse that you feel is happening to the Florida Elder Abuse Hot Line. In a previous comment I said that I care for my Mom who has Dementia at home., and if my Mom was in a home and I felt she was being abused the first thing I would do would be to report it before I would have a Blog about it .I pray that your Grandmother will be Happy and well cared for.
I am quite sure Summer and her family are trying everything in their power to do what they feel is best for Grandma, while also trying to deal with grandpa, her mom having to work for a living, and Summer doing what she can from far away. WHY do people just assume that they aren’t? Because it wasn’t written? One of her main points that NEEDS to be addressed, is that no-one working in the home writes anything down and that they claim nobody saw anything. I call bullcrap on the employees…if they don’t have the time to write something down, then carry a voice recorder & transcribe later when you have a chance. NO EXCUSES!
And why fault her for writing a blog post about this? It may be Summer’s way of “getting it out”…people need other people to lean on, and that is most likely why she decided to write about it on HER blog.
I have shared your post on FB, as my 94 yr old grandmother also suffers from dementia & Alzheimer’s, but my mother cares for her at home because she is no threat to herself or others…yet.
I am SO sorry you are having to deal with this and your family is in my thoughts & prayers!!
New reader, by the way. 🙂
Marjori, Thank you, thank you, thank you. And yes, yes, yes. I don’t have anything else to say because I think you covered it here. I will keep your mom in my thoughts and prayers too. You are fortunate that she is no danger to herself or others yet. I pray she never becomes that way. It’s very sad and scary.
Thank you SO, SO much for visiting! I’m really excited to have you here! 😀
Hi Summer – At Emeritus at Ocoee, we were extremely shocked, perplexed and saddened to read about your perception of the care your grandmother has been receiving at the community. We have had several meetings with your mom about your grandmother’s care, and I have also discussed it with your grandfather who is at the community for hours every day to witness the care she is receiving. He has expressed to me his gratitude with how the staff is handling her care and is very disturbed about the allegations you are making on your blog.
At the end of my last conversation with your mother, she told me we had done a good job addressing her concerns and gave me a hug. I told her that your grandmother is a valued member of our community and we want Ocoee to continue to be her home; however, if she wasn’t comfortable with our care we could help her find a new community. She chose to leave her mother here, and even the DCF caseworker let her know that they rarely come to our community and that we are one of the best around.
Hundreds of family members and residents can attest to the quality of our care. Here are some reviews on two different review sites from just a few of them who are grateful for the care their loved ones receive:
https://plus.google.com/110343131905761611329/about?hl=en#110343131905761611329/about?hl=en
http://www.caring.com/local/assisted-living-facilities-in-ocoee-florida/emeritus-at-ocoee
Our mission is to care for one of the most fragile populations in society – and it is a profession fraught with numerous daily risks. We understand those risks, and take their prevention very seriously.
We outline those risks to our families before we accept any memory care resident into an Emeritus community. They know we don’t provide one-on-one care. Our staff is highly screened and trained, and we have extremely strict policies that are designed to prevent foreseeable risks and minimize errors as much as possible. On the occasions when those systems fail, we work tirelessly to address and resolve any issues that led to any accident.
Regarding the risk of falls, the reality is that falls among seniors are frequently spontaneous and – short of holding onto a person all day long – there isn’t any fool-proof way to prevent them. The reality is that sometimes they occur with nobody to witness them, as in the case of your grandmother.
We will never use chemical or physical restraints to keep people from falling. Although fall prevention is extremely difficult to achieve, Emeritus has developed many methods to manage and reduce fall risks. We do that through extensive staff training, ambulatory and mobility evaluations, and weekly staff meetings to review falls. For residents whose medical diagnosis puts them at higher risk for falls, we put additional specialized care plans in place. We also work closely with families and recommend ambulatory assistance devices for their loved one when we feel that they are no longer safe walking on their own due to their age or condition. The family is a major part of that decision.
I am extremely proud of my staff and the way they work every day to improve and enhance the lives of our residents and do so with great skill and compassion. I feel that is extremely unfair to jump to the conclusion that any one of them is to blame for unexplained bruises or not documenting a linen change. In Florida, we go above and beyond the state regulations when we screen and hire our employees. Most importantly, we hire based on an individual’s care experience, values and steadfast commitment to our seniors.
Again, I am very concerned with your speculation and insinuations about the care your grandmother is receiving, and would like you to call me at your earliest convenience so I can set up a meeting with your grandfather and me.
Kevin Colley
Emeritus at Ocoee
Kevin, You assured my mother that her concerns were going be addressed, and she said that she appreciated that. Her concerns were NOT addressed, and furthermore, Dorothy wound up in the hospital yesterday with an extremely bad urinary infection, and was so dehydrated that she had passed out in someone else’s wet spot on the sofa in your main area. She was left unattended from 2:30pm until Emilee arrived at 6pm, where she was sitting in a soiled and wet diaper. If you call that addressing someone’s concerns, I hope every person who Googles Emeritus Ocoee in the future, finds this article and string of comments and heavily considers not only NOT using your facility, but leaving the state of Florida if you are the best around.
I have absolutely no desire to meet or talk with you, because unfortunately for you, I cannot be snowed; your actions, and the actions of your Memory Care employees have spoken a million more words than the meaningless drivel you have typed above.
I have more to say, so please look for a follow up article to be published tomorrow morning.
Good day, sir.
As an update: I just spoke with Willie and he said, and I quote, “You have not always been real good about doing exactly what he tells you to do” [In regards to Dorothy’s care]
Of course the nursing facility will defend their actions. Let’s just face it, after this incident yesterday which resulted in a hospital admission, proves that Emeritus employees are not paying attention. Give them all the training you want to Mr. Colley, all of this is absurd. What if this was your Grandmother or Mother? What about compassion? Summer, please continue with your blog and keep the awareness going that this isn’t the only nursing home with poor employees, lack of training, and most importantly…the compassion that employees need in dealing with our most vulnerable citizens. I went through the exact same type of issues with my Mom being in a SNF for only 16 days. Apparently, poor hiring practices is the norm. Let’s face it…when CNA’s and Nurses are working in an SNF, it usually means they do not have the ability to work anywhere else. This is our future, and at 58 years old, it scares the heck out of me. Keep it going Summer…you’re doing an excellent job! And I’m so happy you are moving her from there.
How about a “NANNY CAM ” set up in her room. Don’t know how they work but might give you peace of mind.
Hi, Ann! I looked into it and because she has a roommate, I could be sued by her roommate’s family for invasion of privacy. I was trying to talk my mom into placing one anyways then the new incident happened. I think in a new facility, it will be necessary. I don’t trust ANYONE now.
Kevin- First of all, just like I told you in the meeting we had I stand behind my sister 100% and I see nothing wrong with this blog. Summer has done nothing but state facts here. You and I both know that. When my mom, aunt, step dad and I sat with you a few weeks ago and you assured us that things were going to change. You said that you would personally make sure that our concerns would be handled. Is this how you handle residents family’s concerns? You have swept it all under the rug hoping it would disappear. That’s sad. You are a sales man. You get people in the door and hope they never see the truth. We saw the truth, brought it to your attention and you have done nothing about it. This facility reminds me of a piece of “Fools Gold” it’s pretty on the outside but isn’t worth a damn!
I don’t think you give two craps about my grandmother or any other resident in that facility. I’m sure you are asking why I would think that?! Well lets just put it all out there. A little over a week ago my mom went to visit grandma around dinner time. She was shocked to find that no meals had been delivered to the memory care unit. So a CNA went to see what was taking so long. She went to the kitchen to find it locked up and everyone had gone home! They had forgotten all about the residents in the memory care unit. Since you are the administrator of the facility, they called you to come in so you could open the kitchen doors and help them get these residents fed. Your response was it was too far for you to drive and for them to figure it out. How dare you?! If it wasn’t for my mother these patient may have never gotten fed. Your facility just thinks because these patients have Dementia/Alzheimer’s that they won’t remember anything. Kevin my mother was crying to me on the phone tell me how there were people in there crying because they were hungry!!
Yesterday when my mother arrived to check on my grandmother, she was so weak she couldn’t even sit up. One of your workers was asked by my mom to call an ambulance. The worker turned and looked at her and said “Doesn’t she have a DNR?” My grandmother doesn’t have a DNR! Even if she did, a DNR has nothing to do with not getting a patient help for severe dehydration!! It doesn’t state that a patient isn’t to receive any kind of medical care!! My advice to you on that is you should really provide your staff with a better knowledge base. Start by printing out something that defines a DNR.
Don’t get me started on the patient that I personally witnessed!! On one of my visits to the facility I was sitting with grandma and looked up to a patient clinching his chest. He told one of the workers his chest hurt. So she wheeled him away from the other residents and asked another worker to call the nurse to come in and check on him because he was having chest pains. I watched as he told the CNA exactly where his chest pain was, how severe it was and also what it felt like. The nurse finally arrived about five minutes later, took his blood pressure, rolled her eyes and said “he probably has gas” and had him wheeled back into the dining room to eat. It was a horrifying sight to see. Who was she to say it was gas?!
So, just like my sister has done in this blog, I have done here on this comment. We have both stated facts! You can’t hide facts!
*to add the man was having chest pains that go hand in hand with a Myocardial Infarction (a heart attack)
I am so sorry this happened to your grandma. One of my friends works end of life care as a nurse (which I could never do). This is so sad that people treat their elders like this. Horrible. I feel for you and your family.
Dear Entire Family of Dorothy,
You have my COMPLETE sympathy! I will be posting more here in the next few weeks. But I can add quite a few other comments. So glad you moved your mom.
PLEASE come back and leave more comments. I would love to hear more.
My grandmother died in a nursing home due to an infection of bed sores because of lack of care. The problem is lack of funds to run the facilities, leading to low-paid employees with no education, which then leads to poor handling of patients because the workers don’t get paid enough to deal with the types of things they must deal with.
Seriously, the place she was at, my grandfather was paying $4000 plus they were getting another $1000 a month from the Military every month. It’s crap to think that it costs that much to take care of someone. These privately owned places are owned by people who are in the business of making money, that’s all it boils down to. We aren’t the only people who have experienced abusive care there and it’s devastating to think about how they are treating people. I’m glad my grandma got out alive, but I’m so sorry about your grandma. 🙁
OMG, those people are bastard, how can they hurt you’re grandma? are they human, elders suppose to be take good care, I feel angered when I see the images of your grandma, it make me cry, if I am there then I know people who trying to hurt my grandma, I can stop my self, to hurt them or probably killed them! God,…I I am sorry on what happen to your grandma you should locate this kind of people, file a report!
I stumbled upon this blog through a recipe. Love your writing. Hate what happened to your Grandmother. I too had a grandfather with Alzheimer’s and he was in a nursing home ($5000 a month) and I don’t think his care was top notch, but he was not abused…thankfully. There does need to be more awareness and rights for these patients. I was just curious as to the update of your Grandma and the Emeritus facility.
Should have cameras in all nursing homes
It’s nearly impossible to find knowledgeable people about this topic, however, you sound like you know what you’re talking about!
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Đình sẽ cho gia đình bạn cảm giác thoải mái cùng không
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len lỏi được vào căn hộ
Tại dự án Vinhomes Gardenia Mỹ Đình, mỗi căn hộ hai phòng ngủ có diện
tích thiết kế dao động từ 78,5 -85,7m2
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