Summer Len Davis

Essays from the Dirty Floor

Why My Son (Still) has a Birthmark…on His Face.

He's Handsome! 'Nuff said

I want this post to be my longest yet because there is SO much history and science behind Styles’ birthmark but I want to keep this more about my emotions and less about history or science so I’ll do my best to do just that.

Styles was born after 3 hours and 6 minutes of labor.  From first contraction to finish.  No lie.  Nobody expected him to be born so quickly; I was young, he was my first child, yadda yadda yadda.  That said, everyone and their mother was in the room when he was delivered because the nurses didn’t have time to kick ANYONE out.  And the entire thing is documented in photographs.  I’ll gladly send you a picture if you’d like to see.  Or not.

When he was born, he was pink and beautiful and had a very prominent purple stain on his face.  I was in shock that I had just squirted out a baby so I didn’t notice it at first but everyone around me seemed to see nothing else.  They didn’t care that he had perfect Agpar scores, or that he was breathing, or that he had 10 toes, 10 fingers, and a penis.  They were more concerned about this “thing” on his face.  Questions swirled around us, “Would it fade?”  “Would it grow?”  “What will you do?”  “People are going to stare…what will you say?”  “Maybe the OB rubbed his face like that as he massaged your perineum during delivery?” “Will you sue?”  I could go on for another thousand words but I’ll stop now.  His pediatrician came in the next morning with the news. There were two “Worst Case Scenarios”.  One was that it was a “Strawberry Hemangioma” where it would grow in size and become raised, possibly blocking his vision due to its placement on his face.  Treatment for this would include shots of steroids in the hemangioma, causing it to shrink so that it wouldn’t hinder his eye sight.  The second scenario was that it was just a port wine stain.  That in and of itself is not so bad.  What he was concerned about was that because of its placement, it could very well be associated with Sturge-Weber Syndrome.  SWS is not life-threatening and many kids with it have relatively normal lives.  It can cause calcification in the brain leading to some learning difficulties, delayed or difficult speech, seizures, and possible paralysis or weakness on one side of the body.  We would have to wait with both diagnosis to see if either presented itself.  This was all VERY overwhelming for me.  I was young, this was my first baby, and I just didn’t know how to handle the news.  I still didn’t really “see” the birthmark.  He was my beautiful baby no matter what.  I was aware of the stares in public and I couldn’t close my ears to judgmental remarks from my family.  But our pediatrician was certain that it would fade after puberty, and urged me to let it be.

After a few MRIs and CT scans, Sturge-Weber was ruled out and Styles’ birthmark never did grow in size.  It has actually faded quite a bit from its original magenta, but still covers the same percentage of his face as it always has.  It has been determined that it is a simple port wine stain, strategically placed like a slap across the face, absolutely cosmetic in nature.  I decided when he was very young that I didn’t want to put him through the surgery necessary to have it removed.  It involves pulse-dye lasers and many, many treatments.  Because of its proximity to his eye and his age, they would have had to put him under general anesthesia for treatment.  Yes, the younger the skin, the better the healing but I couldn’t risk putting my child under general anesthesia for a cosmetic “flaw”.  To me it felt like giving a 2 year old breast implants or liposuction.  Was it really necessary?

I fretted over what people would think as he grew up.  Kids can be cruel.  I was laughed at because of my name.  When I moved to Alaska when I was 9, people teased me because of my southern accent.  My last name rhymed with “butt” so I often heard, “Summer Northcutt has a big butt” (which is/was TRUE – can you blame them?)  I was also called “Winter” and endured endless snickers as we learned about the seasons.  There is always something to tease a kid about.  But was I setting my son up for failure by allowing this birthmark to remain on his face?  I decided no.  His name is “Styles”.  He has WHITE hair and a birthmark on his face.  He’s going to be teased about SOMETHING at some point in his life.  What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?

I still wasn’t convinced but I waited.  People came up to us in public and often asked nicely what was on his face.  But sometimes we’d encounter some rude, uneducated jerk who would ask us “what happened to his face” to which I would reply, “It is a capillary hemangioma.”  I never explained to those people that it was simply a birthmark.  Using the scientific term with idiots was much more satisfying to me since I couldn’t way what I really wanted to say:

“What happened to YOUR face?”

As Styles grew and learned to talk, I taught him that it was a birthmark.  I never made a big deal about his stain because I didn’t feel that it needed to be a big deal.  If I made it a big deal, then it would be a big deal to him and I didn’t want to be the cause for any self-esteem issues that he would suffer as a result of having a birthmark on his face.  Styles learned that when people asked him what it was to simply respond with, “It’s a birthmark” and then be on his merry way.  As a result of his flip nature about it, he has not endured any teasing or name calling, which surprises me as he gets older and is now in the 4th grade.  I firmly believe that because he is so nonchalant about it, kids move on to something else because they see that it doesn’t bother him.

When Styles was 4 I sat him down and had a serious talk with him about having it removed.  I told him that the decision was his and that I would support him no matter what he decided to to.  His response to me was, “But Mom, if we get it taken off, I won’t be Styles anymore!” I choked back the tears as I laughed and gave him a huge hug.  OK, baby, whatever you want.

5-yr old Styles (oh so long ago)

I’ve received a lot of flack from family and friends of family whose opinions matter very little to me.  They all say that I am doing him a disservice by not taking the initiative as his parent to have it removed.  But as you can recall from the beginning of this post, it is simply cosmetic.  My mom never got me a nose job when someone told me in the 6th grade that if I ever wanted to be french kissed that I’d have to break my nose. (Thanks a lot, Zach Brown).  My mom has a LONG list in her head of the names that people are going to call him.  I won’t even bother listing them, it’s quite ridiculous to pretend she can see into the future and know that he’s going to be called “this thing” or “that”.  If you’d like to know what Styles is going to be called in the future by some jerky little kid, feel free to contact her and she’ll regale you with at least 649 different names.

I personally think that it will make him a stronger person.  I want to use his birthmark to teach him that we all have differences.  Sometimes, those differences are obvious and other times they’re not, but they’re there.  I want him to know that beauty lies on the inside not on the outside.  Not based on the color of someone’s skin, or because they have a birthmark, or other physical or mental handicap.  I don’t want him to date girls who only want him because he’s attractive (another argument my mom has for getting it removed – God forbid Styles not some day have a hot girlfriend).  I wouldn’t want him dating superficial girls like that anyways.  I want him to marry a woman who loves him for his outstanding personality, intelligence, and wit.  Not because *GASP* he has a birthmark on his otherwise very handsome face.

I love him. AND his birthmark.

I know that it frustrates him sometimes when the same people ask time and time again, like the answer is going to change.  For instance, we were in the grocery store this week and this annoying little twit saw Styles in an aisle.  Apparently he knew who Styles was from school but is in a younger grade.  He asked Styles “what happened to your face?” and Styles told him that it was a birthmark.  The kid kept asking.  It was SUPER frustrating for me as a parent but I stood back and watched to see what Styles would do.  He completely ignored this little turd-hole after he answered him the second time and kept talking to me like he couldn’t hear him.  I was very proud.  Because I don’t want to make a big deal about it, I didn’t ask him how it made him feel.  He knows that he can come to me when and if he wants it removed.  So we went to check out and this same little nit-wit leaves the aisle his mom is in and runs over to our aisle to ask Styles AGAIN what happened to his face.  After the FIFTH time, I bent down and said loudly, “IT’S A BIRTHMARK”.  He said, “what happened to your face?” (for the sixth time) and I again said loudly, “IT’S A BIRTHMARK AND IT’S BEEN THERE SINCE HE WAS BORN.”

The little ish kept asking and I finally said, “OK the truth is, he was annoying me, kind of like you are right now, and I slapped him.  You want one too?”

He ran back to his mommy and I have NO clue whether or not he told her what I had said and quite frankly, I really don’t care.  OK so I shouldn’t have handled it that way, but this kid was SERIOUSLY irritating me.  I finally talked to Styles when we got to the car (cough…van) about this kid and how he (Styles) had reacted.  I told him that I was super proud of him for being calm about it.  But I also gave him full-on permission to make up some sort of radical story about his birth mark.  I told him that if someone keeps persisting, that it’s completely OK to tell them that he was burned on his last safari through Africa and that it will never go away.  Or that he was licked by a tiger in Nepal and that tigers tongues are SO rough that it left a scar.  Or to simply say, “What happened to your face?”  He laughed at me and told me that he was afraid he’d get in trouble at school for saying those things but I told him I had his back.  I reiterated the fact that he should always start by simply saying, “It’s a birthmark” but on the rare occasion where someone won’t back down and take that truthful answer for what it’s worth, to go ahead and tell a little lie.  I also reminded him that when and if he ever wants it removed, that we’ll do it in a heartbeat.  I’ve told him that it won’t hurt my feelings and that I just want him to be happy and make the decision for himself.  He says it doesn’t bother him and that he wants to keep it.  And he can keep it, for as long as he wants.  It’s his to do with as he pleases.

I’m proud of the decision I’ve made.  It wasn’t an easy decision and it certainly is not a decision that I made lightly.  It was not made due to finances or selfish ambitions.  It was made the same way I make all decisions regarding my children:  after lots of research and soul searching.  It is a decision made by me (his parent and loving mother), in a step to do what I believe is best for him.  It might not be the same decision you would make for your child and that’s OK.  I don’t judge you for your decision, just please try to understand mine.  We all want the same thing: the very best lives for our children and this is what I’ve chosen for my super-smart, outstandingly witty, sweet, loving, accepting little boy.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. You are the exact kind of mother I always hoped that I would/could/will be. Im just nodding in agreement. Not much I can add other than S is gorgeous just the way he is. I think your choice to leave it up to him is admirable. Because at the end of the day he is healthy and it isnt a big deal to anyone that isnt an idiot.

    • Thanks, V. I constantly use the example about my nose with my family. It caused me grief! Why didn’t they get me a nose job? Because it’s cosmetic and it wouldn’t solve any self-worth issues that I have. Just like Styles’ birthmark. And you’re an awesome mama. Decisions become tougher as they get older but since we are so similar it’s scary, I’m 100% certain you’ll continue to make the right ones.

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  2. Your son is beautiful! What a great post. I had a hemangioma as well, about the size of a quarter on my nose and it went away when I was 5, but my Mom had to deal with the same issues. I’m proud for your decision! Youre a wonderful mother 🙂

    • Thanks, Joanna! Are you embarrassed of pictures from your childhood? I forgot to put it in the post but for school pictures a few years back the photographer asked me if I’d like for him to edit Styles’ birthmark out for free. I was like, “UM – NO!” Why on Earth would I do that? So that I could send a message that I’d rather he not have it? Definitely not. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  3. Wonderful story! He sounds like such an awesome, intelligent, thoughtful and yes, very handsome kid.

    I can’t count the number of times I was teased and bullied as a kid- my name/initials, my grades, my size (or lack thereof), the large mole on my neck (will never forget being called “chocolate chip neck” in 2nd grade!). My mom told me I could have it removed when I was older, but I never have.

    You are so right about kids. Bullies sense weakness, and prey upon any real or imagined difference. Much better to teach our kids to be proud of who they are and give then the tools to rise above, just as you have done.

  4. Your post is almost as beautiful as your baby boy! I think it is amazing how we get what we need, don’t you? It seems that his personality is perfectly suited to having a birthmark that might cause people to be nosy, as he just let’s things roll off his back. He sounds great, and you should be proud of the way you have raised him. Looks like you both taught each other a few things! Hugs!

    • Thanks, Mama! I’m proud of him and hope that as I learn to love myself more and more that I’ll be proud of the way I’m raising him too. He truly is an amazing child and an absolute gift. Thanks for reading, and for commenting 🙂

  5. Oh Summer! This is beautiful and so inspiring as a parent. I remember when you first posted (on MySpace possibly?) About Styles not wanting his birthmark removed because then he wouldn’t be Styles anymore. To be honest I think his birthmark is beautiful. Max has a huge birthmark that covers most of his left upper arm . It’s true it is not pink, but while I look at it, as his mother, and see only beauty and God’s work, it has crossed my mind that he may one day feel self-concious about it. I love your attitude and perspective on the situation ! I hope Max will grow to see his differences (both with the birthmark and being bi-racial) that these qualities make him unique in a positive way and he loves those features about himself as much as I do!

    • Max is an awesome kid. Just foster those values in him and he will pick up on it. It starts with YOU, though. I realize I need to learn to love myself more, especially in front of my children, for them to learn to love themselves. It’s SO important for us to teach them that they are wonderful no matter what.

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  6. I love this! I really, really do. I was born with a birthmark on my butt that my mom had removed when I was young but old enough to remember. I was never bothered by the birthmark itself, but I was absolutely traumatized by laying on a surgical table with my bare butt in the air, feeling the pressure of some dude with a knife cutting me, and seeing a giant chunk of MY body being taken away in a jar of fluid. Horrifying. I vaguely remember my mom telling me it could have become cancerous “some day” and that’s why it was removed, but I wish she had taken a wait-and-see approach and turned the decision over to me. Now I just have a huge oval scar on my butt and a terrible memory, with a side of resentment. So, GOOD FOR YOU for leaving him as his beautiful self and letting his appearance be HIS decision!

    • Thanks! ALL skin can become cancerous “some day”, as evidenced by the chunks I have cut off of my body every year. Darn fair skin! It sounds like a really bad memory for you and I’m sorry you had to experience it. Thank you for sharing. It helps to hear the other side of the equation every once in a while too.

  7. Summer, absolutely beautiful post. So many thoughts came to mind as I read it, but mostly this: children who love and respect themselves often turn out to be adults with a great capacity for compassion. Kudos to you for showing him he is perfect the way he is!

    Ps – he is quite the photogenic little man, isn’t he?

    • I would have worn my birthmark in honor of my mother my whole life for her words to me when I was young. “God has marked you because you are special.” Mine however disappeared when I was in my mid twenties. Styles will grow strong because of the love of a wise and wonderful mother.

    • Thank you! He has a fantastic smile and loves the camera. It loves him too. 🙂 I can only hope that he grows into an adult with a great capacity for compassion. He already exhibits signs of it. He is very concerned about the homeless and less fortunate. He is never judgmental and we do not partake in name calling, even for fun’s sake. I believe there is always a hint of truth in every joke and I would rather he not be involved.

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  9. I have two VERY large strawberry hemangiomas on my left bicep area. I got sooo many questions about them as a kid, and just recently, I get questioned as an adult. I didn’t wear tank tops until I was probably 25 years old. I could never have them operated on or removed. The tissue/skin is very thin and it could possibly do nerve damage to my arm, and I am left handed.

    I love that you left it up to him if he ever wanted to get it removed/treated. I love that support.

  10. GREAT post, and you’re right he’s very very handsome! And I love what you said to that little twit. You were way more patient then I would have been! little shit.

    So impressed by you!

  11. Great post! I hope my son grows up as awesome as yours 🙂 You sure do have a handsome man there! It is unfortunate that your family can’t all see him for the gorgeous boy with an amazing personality that he is – hopefully they will come around with time.

    For a long time I was scared/worried that other people ONLY saw the hemangioma on my son’s face, and not his gorgeous face. I finally realized that it is their problem and not ours. I don’t look at people and only see their ear, or their eye – I look at their whole face and see their personality along with it. I expect the same from our friends – unfortunately I can’t choose my family 🙂

  12. Wow! I love how you stand back and follow your son’s lead. That’s what I try to do with my son too (though mine doesn’t have such a prominent birthmark).

    Just thought I’d let you know that when I was in my late teens, my first real boyfriend – my first love – had port wine stains in small patches all over his body. I had totally forgotten about them until I read your post. When I think of him, something as insignificant as a skin coloring doesn’t even matter. Although, now that I think about it, I remember that I used to love to lay next to him and trace the ones on his arms.

    I’m sure your son will find his mate and she won’t even notice the birthmark either.

    • Thank you for the compliment! It means so much to me. That’s SO incredibly neat about your first love! I think that some day someone will love Styles for who he is, and not what he looks like.

  13. Great story. Have there been any follow up postings about Styles?
    I grew up just like him.

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  110. Eine Ausnahme bildet beispielsweise das Wochenende, denn wenn
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  114. Mit einer so hohen Volumenmarkt ist es wichtig, bereit Berater haben, wenn eine unmittelbare
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  118. Da sich pass away Marktprotagonisten beziehungsweise die Emittenten dem Bonitätsrisiko des Traders gegenübersehen, muss der Anleger beim Handel mit Differenzkontrakten auf
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  126. Der Forex Markt ist mit einem täglichen Umsatz von mehr als 4.000 Milliarden US-Dollar der größte liquide Finanzmarkt der Welt und ermöglicht Kunden nahezu rund
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  135. Ohne Inspiration und Interesse an finanzwirtschaftlichen Zusammenhängen ist es quickly unmöglich, im Forex Handel langfristig erfolgreich zu sein und
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  138. Was auch immer Finanz-Software für Forex Sie wählen, stellen Sie sicher, es bietet eine Ausbildung Forex im Handel und ein umfassendes Support-System, zugänglich 24/7 ist.

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  147. Scheine, Zertifikate, Fonds, ETFs, Anleihen und
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  148. Admiral Markets bietet gerade hierfür einige exklusive Zusatzfunktionen im
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  151. Neben Lots bieten viele Forex Broker auch den Handel mit Mini Lots (10.000 Einheiten einer Basiswährung)
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    • it functions by utilizing purifying meals to clear the intestines
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  158. Diese Händler wirklich denken ernsthaft über den Forex-Handel
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  173. Nach ein oder zwei Versuchen Sie eine gute
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  177. Viele dieser Herausforderungen klingen zunächst sehr banal, doch sind sie beim Forex Handel lernen überaus wichtig und sollten als
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  185. Am besten vertrauen Einsteiger auf Broker, pass away mit einer eingeschränkten Nachschusspflicht arbeiten oder gänzlich auf diese verzichten.

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  191. Welche geliefert, wenn Sie einen Kauf zu lokalisieren und Verkauf von Festplattenlaufwerk,
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  192. Doch bei der digitalen Währung ist vor allem eines wichtig: der Unterschied zwischen dem Handel bei einem lizenzierten Broker und einer
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  195. Aber auch pass away klassischen binären Optionen sind
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  202. Daytrading verlangt rasche Reaktionen des Forex Händlers, Bedienung und Navigation im Tradingprogramm müssen also automatisch von der Hand gehen.

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  209. Diese sogenannten Sicherheitsleistungen werden Margin genannt und hängen in ihrer Dimension vom
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  211. Bei einem Kapitaleinsatz von 1.000 EUR und einer zum Beispiel 10-prozentigen Margin-Anforderung können Sie
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  212. Auf der Webseite gibt es ein umfangreiches Schulungsangebot mit Video-Kursen und Webinaren und es steht ein kostenloses Demokonto zur Verfügung,
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  214. Darüber hinaus profitieren Kunden von unseren sehr guten Konditionen während allen Marktphasen, sodass ein effizienter Zugang zur aufregenden Welt des Forex Handels gewährleistet ist.

  217. Erfahrenen Devisen-Trader läßt Sie wissen, dass ohne Forex Devisenhandel System-Software-Programm, Sie neigen dazu,
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  223. Der Handel ist grundsätzlich vollständig online basiert, dies bedeutet dass keine lokal zu
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  303. Daytrading verlangt rasche Reaktionen des Forex Händlers, Bedienung und Navigation im Tradingprogramm
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  304. Preis-Aktion-Analyse kann Ihnen die Methode, mit denen Sie profitieren, wenn Sie haben pass
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  308. Wenn Sie Ihre Positionen über Wochen oder gar Monate halten, fallen jeden Tag die CFD Finanzierungskosten an.
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  322. Bevor Sie sich entschließen, am Devisenmarkt zu handeln, sollten Sie Ihre Anlageziele, Erfahrung und Risikotoleranz
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  373. Erstens kommt der Differenzhandel für alle in Betracht, die
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  376. Forex ist mit einem Tagesumsatz von ca. 4 Billionen US-Dollar der weltweit größte Finanzmarkt mit
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  378. Im Unterschied zum Handel mit Aktien erkauft sich
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  391. Auch die Tradeeingabemöglichkeiten Orderfunktionalitäten (für obigen Trade brauche ich vielleicht 10s um den einzugeben) eines CFD Anbieter ist deutlich überlegen.

  394. Hier auf finden Sie eine Übersicht zu den beliebtesten und bekanntesten Forex Brokern, welche sich in der Vergangenheit schon als seriös bewiesen haben.

  395. Der Handel mit gehebelten Differenzkontrakten birgt Risiken, die möglicherweise zum
    Verlust Ihres gesamten zur Verfügung stehenden Kapitals führen können.

  401. Everything is very open with a clear description of the issues.
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  402. Wenn Ihnen jemand eine profitable Forex Strategie vermittelt und Ihnen somit die Kunst des Forex Handel lehrt, ist pass away
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  404. Hello this is somewhat of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG
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  408. Im Unterschied zum Handel mit Aktien erkauft
    sich der Trader jedoch kein Mitspracherecht in dem Betrieb, noch erhält
    er eine Dividende aus dem Aktienhandel des Unternehmens.

  410. I’m not sure where you are getting your info, but good topic.
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  412. Pass away Varengold Bank FX garantiert jedem Kunden, als ein in Deutschland
    regulierter Online Broker, das Höchstmaß an Sicherheit für seine Einlagen beim weltweiten Devisenhandel (Forex Trading).

  413. Neben Banken handeln dort zum Beispiel Firmen, die Waren im Ausland in fremder
    Währung bezahlen müssen oder die sich gegen Verluste aus
    ungünstigen Wechselkursveränderungen absichern wollen.

  416. I delight in, result in I discovered just what I used to
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  418. Der Handel mit diesen Derivaten kann unter Umständen hohe Renditen erzielen, birgt aber auch erhebliche
    Risiken, den oftmals lässt sich die Entwicklung eines Kurses nur sehr schwer
    einschätzen.

  419. AvaTrade bietet mit dem AvaTrader und dem MetaTrader 4 zwei erstklassige Handelsplattformen an: Mit beiden können Sie Forex und auch andere Basiswerte wie
    Gold, Öl, Aktienindizes usw.

  425. Mit Optionen von 60 Sekunden bis zu 24 Stunden und der Möglichkeit, Handelsgeschäfte unter bestimmten Bedingungen früher zu schlieβen und
    somit geringere Gewinne oder Verluste dafür zu akzeptieren, zeigt diese Plattform mit ihren Eigenschaften, warum der binäre
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  426. Wer CFD Positionen über Monate halten will, wird schnell merken, dass pass away damit
    verbundenen Finanzierungskosten einen großen Teil des Gewinns aufzehren können.

  429. Beginners, amateur dealers and even skilled traders might
    result in a lure feeling symptoms and also other mathematical data come
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  430. This profit will have to be exchanged back to sterling
    using the existing rate, should you be trading a merchant account that is denominated in sterling.

  433. Da haben es pass away Chinesen und Amerikaner viel besser, deren Währungen fest aneinander gekoppelt sind, weshalb sie im gegenseitigen Handel keine Währungsschwankungen zu
    befürchten brauchen wie gegenüber dem Euro.

  434. Verbraucher sollten beim Vergleich der Forex Broker hier in unserem Rechner auf Gebühren für pass away Depotkontoführung oder für die Eröffnung eines Referenzkontos achten.

  442. Wenn male erstmal persönliche Erfahrungen mit den Leistungen von LYNX gesammelt hat, fragt
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  446. Pass away ultimative Strategie Forex Handel ist es, pass away Bedingungen für den Handel festgelegt
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  448. Auf diese Weise können Sie extrem viel über Strategien und den richtigen Zeitpunkt
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  449. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but
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  451. I just found your blog. I appreciate the honesty in your writing. I too had a son within 3 hours of labor, and he was born with a birth mark right in the center of his forehead. It was a port stain, and it has gotten lighter over the years. He will be nine in a couple of weeks. We were never approached to have it removed. I would have responded the same way you did. My son doesn’t let it effect his yearn for learning. He also has a speech delay that he gets help with twice a week. Again, he doesn’t let anything bother him right now. I think your little boy is handsome just the way he is!

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